Bear with me while I ramble. I have plans for a hugely insanly long post about sports and the culture of winning we have within the sports world ... but right now, I need to ramble about the ideas I had during halftime of the Jazz game tonight.

A halftime in which we were down by 16 points. A game that we lost by 30.

There are moments when you wonder if really, all you are is all you are. Winning is the point of a sporting event. One team/person goes against another to see who is better. For reasons of regionalism, we ally ourselves with a certain team/person and attach ourselves to them as if they were a member of our own family.



But there's more. And that more is the frightening culture of sports. Yes, I'm talking about the little leagues where the coaches don't teach the kids about team work, only about winning. I'm talking about the fathers who beat up other fathers and the mothers who are unspeakably horrible human beings because of their child's sports team.

Sports is about honor and pride and glory and learning and making yourself a better person. For us as fans, it's about the rush of the game. But how often do we stop to think about what it means to these kids who find their very peace in the way the ball bounces off the hardwood? We bitch about high salaries, but do we ever stop to ask ourselves if a player would play for less just because he loved the game?

John Stockton did. He set up a deal in his contract that in exchange for not taking a contract hike, his kids' basketball team would get to use the Delta Center to practice.

Kevin Durant recently said he wants to spend his entire career with Oklahoma City. He doesn't want to get traded around. He's good enough to get picked up by any of the biggest teams. But he wants to stay where he can help a team build from the ground up. Will he demand top dollar? Of course. But it says something about a young kid, fresh out of college, who can say something like that. With the Knicks chasing Lebron and all the talk in Salt Lake about where Boozer might be better off, to see someone like Durant say what he said means a lot. It means that it isn't always about the "W". Sometimes, it's about the team.

Always, it's about the team.

I thought about this while watching the Jazz lose in Dallas tonight. When your life is devoted to winning, as it is for any good player, your morale starts to slip when you lose. When you win, life is great. When you lose, and you don't understand why, you start to blame yourselves and each other. The Jazz don't know why the team is losing. They just know that the dream of finishing in the top 4 in the Western Conference ended the night they lost to Dallas. They know that they can win in New Orleans and then get beat by 30 in Dallas. They know they are good enough to contend for the top spot but as it is, are at the bottom looking up. They held it together during injury and loss at the beginning of the season but now, like a marriage under pressure, they are starting to break. They were running full steam ahead and with the end in sight, there just isn't anything left in the gas tank. They're still not at 100%. They're going to the first round of the playoffs and then they're going to the beach. And the team is looking at a summer of opt-outs and contract changes and the game isn't how it was years ago.

I doubt that any of the players are going to take a lesser contract in exchange for their kids getting to play on the ESA's court.

This isn't to cast aspersions on the strength of the team. But the game has changed. These 12 guys, guys who grew up in the shadows of their fathers (Ronnie Brewer) and the shadows of the projects (Deron Williams) are there to play the game. Fate has intervened. And they forgot the number one rule of sports: Even Babe Ruth missed the ball from time to time.

And that's the point of all of this. Sports is about the better part of us. Not just as players, but as fans, as parents, as coaches, and as players. It's about getting up when you've fallen. It's about brushing off the dust. It's about knowing that even though you are fantastic, sometimes there are guys who might be just a bit better so you get up and you work harder the next time around. It's about holding your head high when you should have been a contender and instead you are heading home in a week. It's about being Steve Nash and Grant Hill this season. It's about being Jerry Sloan and coaching for over 20 years and never walking away with a championship yet getting up every day and learning something new. Jerry would have been long gone anywhere else. Some argue that's a good thing. But where is the team building when a coach is fired 6 games into a season? Or 12? How many coaches lost their jobs this season? How many needed just one season to put it all together?

It isn't always about the win. Yes, it sucks to be a fan and watch your team lose, but that is part of being a fan. Even the greatest TV shows have bad episodes. Even the greatest bands had bad songs. And even the greatest sports teams in history have stumbled and fallen. The ones we remember are the ones who picked themselves up the next day and carried on. They made us, the fans, believe they could win. Even when they were down 30 points.

I saw that look in Deron Williams' eyes tonight. That determination that somehow, even with the loss staring them in the face, they would pull it out. I saw it in the way Ronnie Price scrambled for the ball and the way even Fesenko battled for his rebounds. Angry, pouting, and upset, I looked at these guys and forgave them for the loss. It wasn't their best effort. They were playing like a team that had clinched the playoffs and now they could coast through the end of the season. Win or lose, they've got a post season shot. But even with a minute left in the game, I cheered for them when they made their baskets. I talked about how far Fesenko has come. And I talked about Steve Nash and Shaq and Grant Hill and the rest of the Phoenix team that completely imploded this year. At least we Jazz fans only had to struggle through the heartbreak of injury and the stupidity of one dumb comment from one of the best players on the team. Phoenix has a team of hall of famers and they are all sitting home next week.

Remember that the next time we, as Jazz fans, gripe to high heaven about our team.

But I leave you tonight with this story Jerry told during an interview yesterday. He was asked what it was like to coach a guy with John Stockton and he talked about a series against Seattle where John couldn't even straighten his elbow. He never said a word. He went out there and he played. He played and fought for the win and the game and the competition and in the off-season he had his surgery. Not every player is a John Stockton, but it's men like him who get overlooked in the glory of the players who did win.

In the glory of Michael Jordan and his Bulls, we forget the rest of the hall of fame class of 2009. David Robinson, who played in college and then went to serve his time in the Navy before coming back to the game. Jerry Sloan. John Stockton. C. Vivian Stringer. Heroes in the game. I say all of this on the heels of the UConn women kicking some serious ass all season long. But you know the story that stuck with people today? It was the story of the Oklahoma Center who promised that if Oklahoma didn't win the championship, she would repay her scholarship to the school.

Guess what, sports fans? She's going to.