You Are A Jazz Fan If ...

1 - You can set your watch by Jerry Sloan's substitution rotation.
2 - You know for a fact that a 24 point lead at the half (or any other time in the game) does not mean you will win by any more than five.
3 - John Stockton and Karl Malone are the greatest players ever and fuck you.
4 - You know the pick and roll better than you know the players on the team.
5 - You get mad because other team's cheerleaders look skanky.
6 - You lose track of how often your coach gets tossed from the game in a season.
7 - You still don't believe the three-point shot is the game changer.
8 - You believe the "flop" is part of the rule book.
9 - You believe that "you gotta love it, baby" is required cheering at the end of all exciting plays.
10 - You plan for injuries as part of your regular rotation.
11 - AK-47 is more than a gun, and a Memo is more than a letter - they're players.
12 - "Boooooooooozzzzzzzeeeeeee" is an acceptable cheer.
13 - You don't need to actually know how to read lips to understand what Jerry Sloan is saying.
14 - You respect the note.
15 - You know what "The House that Larry Built" means.
16 - You understand the fundamentals of the game - block out, rebound, pass first, and foul as hard as you can - throwing elbows when possible.
17 - While other fans in other cities chant "MVP" whenever Bryant is at the line, you and all of Utah chant "No Means No".
18 - You understand that a win against a better than .500 team at home is guaranteed while a less than .500 team is always up in the air.
19 - You know that the Jazz will lose fewer than ten games at home, but on the road it's a good chance they may not even win ten games.
20 - Your blood runs navy and blue.

And 21 ...

- You still believe the Jazz will win tonight in Portland.